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我今年25歲,我過得不太好

發布時間:2016-05-15 13:54 發布: admin 分類:青春勵志 瀏覽:

勵志人生http://www.hffp168.com):我今年25歲,我過得不太好

文 | meg

譯 | 小晨

 

我現在在二十出頭和二十大幾的正中間。我并沒達到自己預期的位置,不過實在點說,我原來也沒琢磨過自己23歲以后會是什么樣子。我以為23歲會是我人生最好的一年,這個想法完全是出于對這個數字的偏好,以及一種個人理論:到了這個歲數我已經足夠成熟、變得睿智,同時又足夠年輕可以不在乎。

結果呢,理論上說那是我最差的一年了:我丟掉了工作,經歷了一段可怕的感情破碎,沒了收入來源沒了情感依靠,只身在一個陌生的城市生活,在多年的獨立之后不得不搬回家繼續跟父母住。但是在這23歲的最后三個月,我遇到了人生的另一半,租了個很棒的公寓,還有一連串的人生際遇讓我最終找到了份理想的工作。回想起來,更貼切的說,23歲是我人生中充滿極端的一年。

如果說我在20多歲這段時光學到了什么,那就是20多歲的年紀最重要的就是尋找平衡。因為你20多歲的時候,對于平衡是什么,狗屁概念都沒有。這涉及到生活的各個方面:朋友、愛人、工作、人際關系,以及在熱情與職業道路間的平衡,讓你初入社會能負擔的起自己的生活支出。

在20多歲的前半段里,我是個非常不靠譜的人,不僅是對別人,對自己亦是。一段時間里我能很好的控制收支,不無謂的出去玩,不買沒用的小東西。然后突然遭遇糟糕的一天--跟男朋友大吵一架、工作不順,反正一些亂七八糟的。于是為了讓自己好過一點,花掉半個月的工資跑去買件漂亮裙子或雙可愛鞋子,要不就是去吃頓美味(且昂貴)的大餐。我能連續幾個月做個很棒的朋友、女兒、外孫女、姐妹,但某天突然陷入低沉焦慮期,玩消失,甚至電話都不接。

但是25歲(25歲是不同的)。這個年紀身邊的有些朋友開始逐漸疏遠。那些我們曾以為會陪我們到地老天荒的好友逐漸少了聯系,而一些曾看似最不可能的人卻一直與我們同在。時間成了一種商品,不再能消費給那些一般般的朋友。朋友們結婚,朋友們生孩子,朋友們的工作將他們帶到半個地球外。我們自己也在做這些事情,只不過以不同的步伐和順序。

這個年齡我們找男女朋友是以結婚為前提。不像青春期后期或者20剛出頭的日子,如果告訴別人“我就是想跟這個男人共度一生”,會換來一個個否定眼神以及那種“你天真的好可愛啊”的嘲笑。那些都是過去時了,現在的身邊人可能就將是我們此生的另一半。嚇人吧?

25歲的你

父母的形象逐漸變的光輝,不再只是校園、暑假、考試時期的模糊背景。我們開始意識到父母跟天下所有人一樣是非完美的,但是他們對于生活的理解依然比我們深刻的多。我們開始理解和敬佩為另一個生命負18年的責任是件多么困難的事。是的,我們也開始趨近那些以前發誓永遠也不要變成的父母的樣子,甚至因為這些特質感到驕傲(其中的一些而非全部)。

到了25,大部分人已經換過一兩次工作,并強烈意識到并不是所有人都可以一周40個小時做自己熱愛的工作來掙養活自己。但是如果我們幸運的話,可以找到一個穩定的、小有樂趣的工作,為我們提供生活的面包,同時可以6點下班讓我們回家去做我們熱愛的事情(正是這些小熱情幫助我們渡過一個個難熬的日子)。25歲,我們還沒有太過泄氣,也許有點小小的厭世,但是也對這個世界如何運作拼湊出一些大致的概念。同時我們也開始看到自己在這個世界的位置,以及如何通過自己的努力讓這個世界變成我們想要的樣子。

 

 

除此之外,隨著年齡增長,我們走到了一個尷尬的“大孩子”期,被越來越強烈的無力感包圍。世界不再黑白分明,凡事不再是簡單的對與錯,而只是左與右的區別。我們有了必須要做的決定,必須要選的道路,和由此通向的不同的人生。這種不確定性就如一個無情的殺手。在此之前的人生路上,我們面對的基本都是彼此相似的寬泛選擇:中考、高考、大學畢業,然后找工作、成家立業。聽起來不難吧?不幸的是,大學畢業后,這個一度平面的二維坐標分崩離析,我們發現自己只是立體社會空間的一個小點,從此全靠自己去探索這個無形的世界。靠這能不嚇人嗎!這種沒有目標感的恐懼和茫然讓我們恨不得躲到一個洞里,直接等到自己三十而立,仿佛那時候生活就會自然成形,在我們面前重新展開一張清晰的人生地圖。

要我說的話,我不太相信什么20多歲是人生最好年華的說法。我一直向往30歲,覺得那才是成為成年人的奇跡轉折點。然而,當我離這個數字越來越近,卻發覺這無非也只是個數字、年齡的衡量尺度而已。大部分“成年人”,其實就是裝的比較像大人的孩子而已。這就好比一個魔方,我們把人生的一面打磨的光鮮亮麗,卻立馬發現另一面又亂作一團,需要重新整理。

20多歲的年紀,我們在一種驕傲自大與缺乏安全感之間循循徘徊,這其實就是這個年紀的美妙之處:人生的不確定性、無限的可能、偶來的成功瞬間。比如第一次拿到offer(拿到我們想要的工資!),一次成功的約會發展出的另一半,一個帶給自己歡笑、陪伴自己走過傷心日子的終身伴侶。我們開始有一群跟自己志趣相投的朋友,一起笑一起哭一起開懷暢飲。我們成為經濟獨立的成年人,完全靠自己償還每月的信用卡賬單,時不時獎勵自己一下,買雙漂亮的鞋子,用現金!那該是多么有成就感!這就是生活的平衡,真的,是那種成長、自立帶來的人生快感,那種掌握自己命運的快感:我們會擁有自己一直夢想的生活。

那將是任何物質都不能取代的快感。

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